


yellow | markhyuck

by sunkyu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Heartbreak, Inspired by Music, M/M, Oneshot, sorry i curse alot, yellow by coldplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-06 23:02:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19072462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkyu/pseuds/sunkyu
Summary: “fuck…i really fucking miss him. i really fucking miss him and i need to tell someone.”Normally strongheaded, Mark feels a moment of weakness on the phone with his friend Doyoung.





	yellow | markhyuck

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!  
> this is my first ever fic that i've put out into the world, so bear with my repetitiveness while writing/not knowing how to format haha  
> this is based off of the song Yellow by Coldplay a really sweet song that I thought fit markhyuck really well :) I hope you enjoy this short oneshot hehe!!  
> twt @bffmarklee

Mark didn’t like social media, understandably so. He grew out of it, he’d say. He only ever called people, and it was when he needed to. Of course he got called grandpa by his friends, which was kind of funny, he wasn’t gonna lie. He liked the attention of being the ass of the jokes, in a weird way it boosted his ego. 

—-

All was normal amongst them. Mark was up late —shocker— for no particular reason other than to be awake. He didn’t feel tired, nor did he feel energized. His aura was… calm. It was strange, really. Wednesday nights aren’t usually the most chill of days for him. He felt a sense of productivity, almost like he could start something and finish it in one sitting cause damn, it was such a rare thing to not feel the weight of the world on top of him all the time.

Not feeling particularly inspired though, he decided he would call his best friend, not particularly caring if he was awake or not. 

“Doyoung,” Mark whispered into his phone. “Are you busy?” 

“Mark, yeah, nah not really. What’s up?” Doyoung replied. He sounded a little groggy, he definitely just woke up, Mark thought.

“Ah shit, did you just wake up? I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to inter-“

“Mark— what did I tell you? I’m taking care of you. Whenever you need me, I’m here. Seriously, are you alright?”

“Yes! I’m really really great honestly. I’m truly just bored. I wanna feel inspired to do something or get something done, like a sense of accomplishment I guess. Any ideas? Should I like beat a video game or something?”

“Hmm,” hummed Doyoung. Gosh was Mark complicated sometimes. But Doyoung’s fondness for him was stronger than any annoyance he’d ever felt toward the boy he’d considered his little brother. Even in his half awake state, he wanted for Mark to feel satisfied, and happy.

“You finished your school work, right?” said Doyoung.

“Yeah, ages ago. I’m really not tired, I don’t know why I can’t sleep.”

“Have you been overthinking about.. ?”

“...about?” Mark inquired.

“Donghyuck?”

“....”, the sound of Mark’s fan in the background was the only noise heard on the line.

“I really hadn’t thought about him all day, and not really yesterday either. But now that you mention it..” Mark finished.

It didn’t hit the older boy for a few seconds. 

When he realized he shouldn’t have brought up Mark’s fresh breakup the pop of his hand covering his mouth could be heard. Not like Mark could see this action, but he felt Doyoung’s awkwardness without any words needing to be said. Doyoung would never have thought to even mention it had he been fully awake, but, the timing was horrible and it was an honest mistake.

“Mark. I’m so sorry. Holy shit. I’m so embarrassed. Please forget I said that.”

“You’re perfectly fine… but. It’s weird. I don’t think I feel as awake now as before. But I feel a little inspired, and t-that is why I called you in the first place so… maybe I should let you go? And just be alone?” Mark said.

“No, Mark. I really don’t think you should be alone right now. Not with an overthinking mind like yours. Not like I’d be able to even sleep with my worry anyways.” 

Mark stayed on the line with him, but then his heart felt heavy again, that feeling that only heartbreak can stimulate. He wasn’t sure if to just change the subject or just pour his heart out to Doyoung for the millionth time about it. Doyoung was fine either way, so Mark began.

It wasn’t easy, really, going from living with someone you saw a future with, to living alone. To pulling in and expecting two cars neatly tucked in the driveway, and parking rampantly in between both spots cause not like the other one would be taken up anyway.. To going into the bathroom expecting two toothbrushes and only seeing one. To seeing their previously shared room be painted his favorite color— yellow— and not even being able to stare at the ceiling with swollen eyes because they reminded him of Donghyuck.

He was in the little things, the stray puppies Mark drove by on the way to school, the little yellow marigold’s their neighbor had planted on her lawn. He was in the big things as well, not only the summer evenings filled with golden hour photo shoots for each other and the food they would treat each other to— but the stars. They hated how corny it was, but stargazing was their favorite thing to do. It’s where they decided they’d live together, it’s where they learned each other’s past lives and how they ended up where they did. They learned each other lying on damp grass and a wooden tree trunk and the stars were with them along the way. It wasn’t often they’d stargaze but it was a special treat for the both of them, a day they’d plan in advance. 

_Look at the stars_  
_Look how they shine for you_  
_And everything you do_  
_Yeah they were all yellow_

The last time they stargazed was already coming on two months ago. Nothing was wrong then. The stars shined, just for them and them alone. Everything felt gorgeous and perfect. Donghyuck felt like his forever, and he was so entirely okay with that. Even Donghyuck felt really happy and in love. He wasn’t really a wordy guy, especially with affection and being lovey dovey. Even in private, Donghyuck was reluctant and even a little shy to interact with Mark in some ways. But Mark just felt it. He felt the reciprocation, and felt how strong their connection was. He didn’t need words or affection to know their love. And it was okay, just like that. Just like that.

_So then I took my turn_  
_Oh what a thing to have done_  
_And it was all yellow_  
_Your skin_  
_Oh yeah, your skin and bones_  
_Turn into something beautifu_ l  
_You know, you know I love you so_  
_You know I love you so_

Their demise truly began a month ago. Mark truly thought the world of his boyfriend, and believed he was too good for him. But he didn’t let Donghyuck know that, it wasn’t really in his own character to admit how weak he was for his partner. It’s one of those things, for Mark at least, that he could keep from Donghyuck for the rest of their happy lives. 

It was when Donghyuck got a full internship from a company far away, it was when that company was his dream place to work at, it was when he couldn’t miss the perfect opportunity to be able to get into the job field he always wanted to be in. It was then in that conversation that Mark realized what was going on. 

_I swam across_  
_I jumped across for you_  
_Oh what a thing to do_  
_'Cause you were all yellow_

“Long distance won’t work Mark, it just won’t.”

“Hyuck, you don’t even want to try? Two years for us and you don’t want to try? Giving up just like this is not like you...”

“Who said I was giving up on us? We can’t just be friends for a few years until I’m finished?”

“I just don’t know Hyuck. I can’t really process any of this right now. I love you but this is really a lot for one day.”

“I understand, I do. I know it’s hard, but I hope you can be happy for me, doing this. I’m always gonna love you. Count on it. But long distance never lasts. And I’m not losing you from my life. Promise.”

“Really? So like, we can still contact?” Mark said excitedly. 

“Of course, Mark. I don’t want us to hate each other. Like, literally don’t cry over this because I will too and you know I hate crying.” 

“You’re too pretty to cry. Okay. Okayyyy. We’ll be okay, I know we will. This could’ve gone a lot worse.”

“And it didn’t! Because you’re you and I’m me and we’re both so freaking powerful. And I love you.” Donghyuck said.

“I love you so much, man. Like, really I do, so much, I hope you know that.”

Donghyuck, flustered, obviously gushed and got excited, going on about what kind of education the school had, Mark really loved seeing him excited. It’s his Hyuck getting excited in that way, his eyes lighting up and his smile coming out, his skin glowing even when they were inside their home. Nearly worth the whole breaking his heart thing. Seeing Donghyuck get on the airplane was an oddly somber experience, nothing like what you see on TV. It wasn't like it was goodbye forever.

_I drew a line_  
_I drew a line for you_  
_Oh what a thing to do_  
_And it was all yellow_

But then things changed. You see, promises are like beautiful vases. Made of something so fragile, but so entrancing you don’t want to ever break it. Though, it takes one, just one thing to break it entirely. To shatter it into pieces, like it was nothing, like it wasn’t made with love and like it was something to be replaced.

To describe it simply, it was Mark waiting all day, even adjusting his sleep schedule for Donghyuck who was two hours ahead now. It was Mark still texting him goodnight and good morning as well as he could, it was Donghyuck’s social media’s being filled with new people and new experiences and absolutely nothing like back home. Mark didn’t like the feeling, but at once he understood. 

He understood until he couldn’t, he understood until Donghyuck’s lengthy responses became a stupid emoji or two. He understood until Doyoung told him he was just wasting his time. He didn’t understand that at first. He didn’t listen. He didn’t know, did he? Doyoung took Mark’s criticism well, going from straight out telling him to leave Donghyuck be and see if he wants to put any effort in. But it took every ounce of self control for Doyoung to not throw an ‘I told you so’ when Mark received a rather lengthy text from Donghyuck explaining that he needed space.

That’s when Mark understood.

Then that’s when he cried. 

It’s not necessarily the being distant with Donghyuck that Mark couldn’t handle. It was the false hope given to him, and the feelings that just never went away. You can’t break a promise like that, giving someone a forever and then cut it short so easily. 

Donghyuck wanted to explain himself, but in the end there was no need. Mark was determined to love him but he wasn’t stupid. The end result was clear, and it wasn’t what Mark expected. Long distance doesn’t work. 

But Mark’s not tired of crying yet. Sometimes it’s okay to not be okay, right? That’s what they always say? It’s okay to cry? I’m always the one that’s so strong, right? Why can’t I cry? What’s wrong with my brain? 

His head was filled with so many unanswered questions and unspoken thoughts. None that not even Doyoung could know. 

_Your skin_  
_Oh yeah your skin and bones_  
_Turn into something beautiful_  
_And you know_  
_For you I'd bleed myself dry_  
_For you I'd bleed myself dry_

The call ended and after a tear filled plead from Mark for Doyoung to sleep and stop worrying about him, the night felt truly dark, a depth their formerly shared bedside table lamp couldn’t fill. Mark focused on his arrangement at hand, the oddly arranged tear puddle on his writing desk. He was crying, but he didn’t feel them leave his eyes. He was feeling a lot, while not feeling a single thing.  
\----—----

It was a chilly fall evening. A few months had passed since that long night on the phone with Doyoung. Mark sat amongst his friends in a cafe, laughing and enjoying their company. It had been a good while since he’d genuinely really laughed, outloud, no shame, just utter joy. It takes a strong person, really, to recover from a breakup well. Especially when you’re the one being broken up with. But in the end, he did it. And while he did recover, there’s always things in life that will remind you of someone you loved. It’s almost inevitable. 

As Mark left the cafe, he looked up to a beautiful nightfall. And there they were. The stars, breathtaking as usual. It was weird, but he thought of Donghyuck. He wondered how Donghyuck was even doing, and hoped he was doing well. But Mark could live with not finding out. The stars were for him, after all. 

_Look how they shine for you_  
_Look how they shine for you_  
_Look how they shine for_  
_Look how they shine for you_  
_Look how they shine for you_  
_Look how they shine_  
_Look at the stars_  
_Look how they shine for you_  
_And all the things that you do_  



End file.
